Nick the Strict – Part I

I don’t have a lot of requirements for the man I marry. There are just three non-negotiables for me: Godly, Attractive and Single. As my brother says, “Pick any two.”

But I recently discovered Nick, an online dating find, who I thought just may be all three. On our first date, we met for a casual coffee. Most guys take me out to dinner, but I was fine with a low-pressure coffee date. In fact, the laid-back environment was rather refreshing, despite the fact that Nick spent less than $6 on both our coffees combined (clearly we were not at Starbucks).

He grew up in Detroit and likes to work out, so Nick looks and sounds like a bad boy – big biceps, gangster accent, and he used to ride a motorcycle. But Nick is a bad-boy-gone-good, which in my opinion, is the best of all possible combinations. Every good girl kind of wants a bad boy, but… not really. Danger and intrigue? Yes. Heartache? No.

These days, Nick teaches sixth grade math, volunteers at his church, and plays with his two nieces in his spare time. He is good-looking and a natural leader with a big heart and great smile. We actually had a great conversation until the very end, when Nick felt it necessary to communicate his courtship plan to me. This courtship plan was very long and intricate, but some of the details I caught were:

1. We will never sit together on the same couch during the dating phase of our relationship.

2. The dating phase will last approximately six months, after which point Nick believes godly relationships move into a six month engagement period, so as to be married within one year’s time.

3. Having effectively completed our first sit down conversation, the next steps for us are to: a) do a fun activity together in a few days’ time, b) have another sit-down conversation in another couple of days after that, and c) take a week apart to fast and pray about the direction God is taking this relationship.

…I am struggling with what to write next, sort of like how I struggled with what words to say after Nick’s monologue on proper courtship. I really appreciate that he is trying to be a gentleman and do things the “right” way, but I have dated legalistic men before, and in my opinion, this approach it is over-the-top, contrived, and not necessarily glorifying to God despite all its good intentions. But I thought Nick had potential despite his strict dating guidelines (this coming from a girl who went 8 years without kissing anyone post high school), so I agreed to a second date (i.e. “fun activity”, per the courtship plan). To be continued!

Authentically Aurora