I pay good money for my online dating site to match me with compatible candidates with whom I could feasibly enter into a successful dating relationship. However, over the past month, instead of communicating with my matches, I have kept a continually refreshed Top 20 list of the most ridiculous profile pictures of men I have actually been matched with.
For your viewing pleasure, ladies and gentlemen, may I present:
#20. Probably not your most flattering angle…
#18. One does not simply… date someone twice your age.
#17. I can’t decide if this is hot or creepy.
#16. Ah, selfies.
#15. Is this supposed to be sexy? Flirtatious? Just plain weird?
#14. Why? Just… why? Do you not have any photos of yourself without a highlighter in your mouth?
#13. I always wanted to date the leprechaun version of Yosemite Sam.
#12. Are you golfing or getting ready for lift off?
#11. Oh dear. You are entirely too excitable.
#10. Is that supposed to attract me to you?
#9. Yes, your dentist does great work. Now please close your lips.
#8. I am really frightened right now.
#7. Nice hair, Fabio.
#6. Ah yes, I love the smell of limes in the morning.
#5. Oh, rednecks… there’s one in every bunch.
#4. Half of San Francisco would attack my blog with angry comments if I asked the obvious question about this one.
#3. Does he realize this is a dating site?
#2. So, when you say “girlfriend”, what you mean is getaway driver.
#1. I have no words.
well now I don’t feel so bad. My bar was so high that i got no replies on match.com and that’s fine because the place was rift with female model shills back when I checked them out. I guess none of them knew the difference between the astral plane and a Boeing 747. *L*
It looks like there is someone for everyone! how wonderful…sign me up!
This post was hilarious! I’m not sure if that’s what you were really going for here, but it was! I feel bad this is your dating life, but it seems you have a great sense of humor about it! I have a single girlfriend on some dating sites and from time to time she gives me these kinds of updates. Keep going and keep posting!!
Are you being matched with these guys? Ask for your money back. Ugh
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