Match Madness – Part I

I pay good money for my online dating site to match me with compatible candidates with whom I could feasibly enter into a successful dating relationship. However, over the past month, instead of communicating with my matches, I have kept a continually refreshed Top 20 list of the most ridiculous profile pictures of men I have actually been matched with.

For your viewing pleasure, ladies and gentlemen, may I present:

#20. Probably not your most flattering angle…

#19. Either lost and confused or a mouth-breather. No thanks.

#18. One does not simply… date someone twice your age.

#17. I can’t decide if this is hot or creepy.

#16. Ah, selfies.

#15. Is this supposed to be sexy? Flirtatious? Just plain weird?

#14. Why? Just… why? Do you not have any photos of yourself without a highlighter in your mouth?

#13. I always wanted to date the leprechaun version of Yosemite Sam.

#12. Are you golfing or getting ready for lift off?

#11. Oh dear. You are entirely too excitable.

#10. Is that supposed to attract me to you?

#9. Yes, your dentist does great work. Now please close your lips.

#8. I am really frightened right now.

#7. Nice hair, Fabio.

#6. Ah yes, I love the smell of limes in the morning.

#5. Oh, rednecks… there’s one in every bunch.

#4. Half of San Francisco would attack my blog with angry comments if I asked the obvious question about this one.

#3. Does he realize this is a dating site?

#2. So, when you say “girlfriend”, what you mean is getaway driver.

#1. I have no words.

Authentically Aurora