Wide Awake

Photo Booth

I specifically picked the group that listed “No Childcare Provided” because I didn’t want to get stuck with a bunch of happy, young newlyweds with perfect little children. So I was pleased when I walked into the living room of my new bible study leader’s home and saw a lot of diversity – couples in their 60s, young girls fresh out of college, and multiple ethnicities. I was less pleased when we sat in a circle and all introduced ourselves, and I counted 31 people in the room – 15 wives, 15 husbands, and me.

I half-jokingly asked if I was forbidden from the group without a spouse. I knew the answer, of course. This bible study wasn’t advertised as one focused on marriage; everyone was welcome. But I probably would have felt a lot more welcome if there were less well-intentioned people who were horribly oblivious to their own insensitivity.

Over lasagna, I was asked, “Are you married?” Then, “Well, you at least have a boyfriend, don’t you?” And then, “How old are you?” And finally, “Do you live alone? How is that working for you? Do you get lonely?” At one point, I got so fed up that I told a girl stoically, “Oh, I was actually engaged in March, but he got cold feet. And that was my second broken engagement.” That shut her up real fast.

When the leader of the group reviewed the five objectives for the semester, one was about challenging the men to be more loving husbands; one was holding the women accountable to being respectful wives, and another was about building strong marriages. But, to be clear, this group is not exclusively for married couples. In fact, they’re trying to recruit more single people. Right.

For the big finale of our first session together, a photo booth had been set up in the backyard, along with funny hats, glasses, wigs, etc. Rather than taking a creepy Katy Perry-esque photo by myself, I opted to sneak out while all the married couples had a blast taking silly pictures together. Unfortunately, the photographer caught me. “Hey, I didn’t get a photo of you yet!”

“That’s because I don’t have anyone to take a photo with,” I explained as I kept walking toward the door.

“Well you could take one alone!” he called after me, waving a pair of oversized sunglasses.

He probably should have put on those sunglasses to protect his eyes from the look I shot him as I closed the door behind me.

Authentically Aurora

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6 thoughts on “Wide Awake

  1. That reminds me of the time that my church decided to start a Bible study on Christian marriage principles – my response: “No.” I’m happily single and I really don’t want to give that up to get a nod of approval from people who really don’t care about me – if they did, then they’d know that being single is the best thing for me right now.

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  2. Sometimes it might seem that we are all to be the same. We are all different and there is a different plan for each one of us. I know that as we trust in God and do our best things will happen when they are suppost to. How have you felt that trusting in God’s plans has given you strenght in the past?

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    • Hi, Lindsey. Thanks for writing. It’s true that God has a unique purpose for each of us and that we are each distinct members of the Body of Christ (1 Cor. 12:12-26). Scripture is also clear that God is always working for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28), but sometimes I feel like the father in Mark 9:24 – “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” We are to rejoice in our sufferings, yes, but some days, knowing that there is a purpose to the pain doesn’t make it any less painful.

      “We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.” ― C.S. Lewis

      “Singing cheerful songs to a person with a heavy heart is like taking someone’s coat in cold weather or pouring vinegar in a wound.” -Proverbs 25:20

      “Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” ― C.S. Lewis

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      • It’s true. Sometimes, what we know doesn’t make it easier. But With God things are made possible. Like possible to overcome any kind of problems and feelings. Again, Not easy.
        I would love to talk to you some more about this and other topics if you would be interested. Just email me anytime.

        Hope to hear friom you. 🙂

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  3. Pingback: Organized Religion | Authentically Aurora

  4. Pingback: Enemies –> Friends | Authentically Aurora

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