5 Things Not To Say To Someone Struggling With Singleness

…all of which have been said to me in the past week.

Good thing I’m not struggling with singleness. I’d say it’s more reluctant acceptance, made more reluctant by the social incompetence of everyone surrounding me.

5. “It’s good to see you smiling again. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you look happy.”


Gee, thanks for the reminder of my situation. That smile you just saw? Yeah, it’s gone.

4. “Have you decided what you’re wearing to your brother’s upcoming wedding? How much younger is he than you?”

Game of Thrones

No, I have not decided what I’m wearing to my younger brother’s wedding. I try not to think about anything related to weddings. Or dating. Or people. Because people are disappointing.

3. “Sure, he’s an atheist, and your number one desire for your husband is that he’s a practicing Christian, but this guy is fixable. Don’t write him off yet. He could come around.”

Resting B Face

Yeah, because my other fix-’em-up projects turned out so great. Am I such a hopeless cause that you are now encouraging missionary dating?

2. “I realize that I have a loving husband and two beautiful children, but don’t you believe that God’s timing is perfect? If you’re meant to be married, God will bring the right man along at the right time.”

Meg Ryan

Although true, perhaps consider working on your delivery. Hurting people – particularly intelligent ones – know the truth but, in the midst of darkness, need love expressed more than already-known truth spoken. Although God’s timing is perfect, yours is not. 

1. “God made us all different. Not everyone gets married. Some people are meant to be single.”


Thanks for the encouragement. Here’s one for you: God made us all different. Some people are meant to verbally stab other people in the heart and then get punched in the face.

Authentically Aurora

2 thoughts on “5 Things Not To Say To Someone Struggling With Singleness

  1. Oh…if I had a dollar for every time I heard one of those comments over the course of my life…and you got them all in one week! Awesome! 😉

    It’s so sad that we humans really do have a difficult time thinking through our words before we speak. This was a nice post and extremely accurate.


  2. I really love that picture of Cersei juxtaposed with the topic of a brother’s marriage.

    I appreciate your pain in being the target of those comments. As a dude, I didn’t get those, so I can only sympathize and not empathize per se. I got married later in life (later than my mom expected me to) so once I was married, I got a lot of “thank goodness you got married” or “we thought you’d NEVER get married.”

    Married people act like the single population are in compete control of the situation… and are just being slackers or something.

    Anyway, tough week. Hope things improve (I’m talking about the attitudes of those around you, I’m not going to talk about singleness or whatever.)

    Liked by 2 people

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