Lessons from Bryan – Part III

Maze“You like to know where things are going to end up before you even take the first step.”

It was a statement, not a question. Bryan has been encouraging me to live more in the moment, rather than constantly filtering the present through my knowledge of the past and aspirations for the future. But I’m a strong “N” – a Myers Briggs Intuitive type – so I naturally focus on the future and possibilities. I process information more through abstract patterns and impressions than what my senses take in about my current surroundings. Still further, I tend to get bored with the present moment – there is only so much moment to live in! But our life is like a mist that will soon vanish, so I suppose I can admit that I would do well to really be wherever I am.

In the MomentWhenever he asks me a question, Bryan likes for me to answer immediately with my first inclination, rather than thinking through my answer first. He has suggested that I spend too much time in the back of my mind, developing the persona I want to project to whomever I happen to be speaking with at the moment, rather than speaking freely as I process my thoughts and feelings. But I’m a strong “I” – a Myers Briggs Introvert – so I prefer to take time to reflect and solidify my stance before speaking, and I believe there is much benefit to thinking before you speak. And yet, I will openly acknowledge my propensity to over-analyze and get stuck in my own head.

People are Puzzles“You like solving puzzles. People are like puzzles to you,” Bryan observed recently.

“Yes,” I admitted. “Some easier to solve than others,” I added with a slight smile.

“And you tend to use your Intuition to direct the flow of conversation in order to gather clues that will take you closer to solving their puzzles.”

I nodded, no longer surprised at his keen insight into who I am and how I think.

He continued our discussion, “What do you think it would look like if you let conversations flow freely instead of trying to silently direct them? Is it so important for you to solve the puzzle?”

People are puzzles that couldn’t be solved in a lifetime,” I answered instinctively.

His face broke into a smile, pleased at my revelation, and he quoted Psalm 8, “Out of the mouths of babes…”

Bryan understands that I am better shown than told. He doesn’t tell me what to do or who to be; he asks good questions to challenge my thinking. He spurs me on toward righteousness and coming to my own conclusions based on what I know, deep down, to be true.

This man is good for me.

 Authentically Aurora

5 thoughts on “Lessons from Bryan – Part III

  1. Love this… Can’t even begin to describe how much I can relate to this, and it gets me into trouble with people more times than I’d like it to. Gulp. The key is to finding a balance, I believe — staying true to yourself while remaining open to the perceptions of others and adapting to new situations — tough one for an introvert! High-fives for being so self-aware!


    • Thanks for the comment, Lauren! I completely agree that the key is finding the balance between being completely closed off to feedback from others and being too easily swayed by others’ opinions. I imagine that we all veer between the extremes during various stages of our lives, but the ideal state would be to have solid self confidence while being open to alternate perspectives.

      Liked by 1 person

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