Hard Truths Spoken In Love

beauty girl cry1. I don’t think you’re happy. I think you keep yourself busy to stay distracted from thinking about your unhappiness.

2. People say both that you’re stoic and overly emotional because you don’t show many of your positive emotions but you show all of your negative emotions. You’re stoic when you’re excited and emotional when you’re upset.

3. You’re not a fit for Corporate America. You’re frustrated, and that’s leaking into every other part of your life.

4. You’re depending on Bryan for your happiness, and he’s undependable.

5. You have a lot going for you, but you don’t appreciate it.

We weren’t guaranteed to be happy this side of heaven. But we are commanded to be joyful.

I am neither.

AA

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11 thoughts on “Hard Truths Spoken In Love

  1. I really like the title of your post. God does that for us sometimes, speaks hard truths to us with perfect love. Another name for it is rebuke, but it’s actually designed to help guide us towards the right path, one that will give us pleasure and joy. People truths are not nearly as helpful and valuable. People can’t see us quite like God can. Whenever I am sad or confused, I generally collapse in hysterics at the foot of a King. Works wonders for me. He fixes everything, tells me the truth, and than I feel all better. Sometimes he tells me to change a few things.

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  2. Are these things that people have actually said to you? Do people have the right to say something like that to you? If so, pretty rude. Do you think people should speak that way to you or are you of the kind that feels like people should mind their biz? I’m kind of a mind your biz kind.

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    • Yeah, these were all things said to me by one person yesterday at the office. Fortunately, this person is a friend who genuinely wants me to be happy, and she only told me these things because I literally asked for it. I got results from a “360 feedback” yesterday and was devastated by the results. At work, I am perceived as highly intelligent, well spoken and analytical, with great presentation skills, confidence, etc. But all of my development areas according to the report were around people skills and emotional stability: relationship building, stress tolerance, self control in verbal communication (I am “too direct” and “intimidating”), etc.

      Several of the write-in comments were things like “she builds good rapport”, “has a high level of personal integrity and passion”, she displays “sincerity in helping/supporting others” and is “interested in coworkers’ lives and creates a trusting relationship”. My favorite: “She has a good heart and genuinely strives to make a difference in others.”

      And yet: “She can be an inspiration to others, but only to the extent others believe she is invested in them.” She “needs to build trust in her peers.” Her confidence can “sometimes intimidate” others, and she needs to “show a bit of vulnerability.” “Sometimes her delivery is so ‘spot on’ that it does not invite people to feel welcome to provide feedback.”

      The five statements in this post were my friend’s feedback to my disappointment over my results as to why I am perceived the way I am at the office. I was devastated because I don’t feel like I am truly seen. Not that I feel invisible, but when people look at me, they don’t see ME if they don’t believe I am invested in people.

      Liked by 1 person

      • If you’re anything like me, evaluations are the low point of the year. I had a conversation with an incredible friend of mine after one of them and she reminded me that we are a rare breed. People cannot help but be intimidated by us. Our confidence is other-worldly. Our intelligence is radical. We. Do. Not. Fit. In. And we shouldn’t try to. You have some glowing reviews that I could only hope to hear one day. I’ve never been widely popular, but that’s what happens when your job is to boss people around. I’m responsible for keeping 21 people trained and up-to-date on our policies and processes. It doesn’t make me friends, but it’s certainly earned me a reputation for being an indispensable piece of our success.

        Liked by 1 person

      • You know, that just sounds heartbreaking. And though you ask people for things you can improve on, it just sounds so harsh when someone else says them. I gotta be honest, I am so sensitive when it comes to anyone saying anything mean about me, that people could tell me a thousand nice things about me, I would somehow remember the mean thing. It’s a brave thing for you to ask for people to tell you to be honest, because I just couldn’t do it. I’d really rather not know. And I believe that you had so many people telling you terribly harsh things yesterday, that you need someone like me and my other fellow followers to tell you only nice things about you. I don’t care if you are this thing or that, I won’t pay attention to those things. I will only tell you nice things. So if you ever need something like that, just ask and I will do it.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I am the same – the “compliment sandwich” doesn’t work on me. A thousand nice comments can be offset by one negative comment, because I will dwell on that one hurtful phrase. Thanks for being such a sweet and kind man. You are hilarious and intelligent and witty… and tenderhearted and thoughtful and caring. I am so glad we met.

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        • Well let’s just say I don’t meet cool people like you everyday. I’m pretty in awe of the talents and kindness you possess. It boggles the mind that more people don’t see all of that in you. Especially your co-workers that can’t seem to see all the awesome things you do for them.

          Liked by 1 person

  3. I spent the majority of my life believing God’s thoughts and feelings toward me were all lovingly corrective. Loving, to be sure, but not quite satisfied – not quite proud. At one point, not very long ago, someone finally convinced me that God can only do and say loving things. He can only be patient and kind and gentle and all the other things Love is. To do or say otherwise would go against His very being. God believes you are brilliant. He is kind, and He is not rude. He knows life has handed you a platter of crap. He does not delight in evil. He isn’t tapping His foot waiting for you to get over it. He is patient, He is not irritable, and He always perseveres. He hurts when you hurt. He always protects. He knows you’re trying to figure it all out. He always trusts, and He rejoices with the truth.

    Liked by 1 person

    • “He knows life has handed you a platter of crap.” – This made me laugh.

      “He hurts when you hurt.” – And this made me cry.

      Thanks for being so lovingly supportive and encouraging. You are a wonderful blog friend. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I always love/challenge my friends to challenge me to be better. Give me advice and things I should be working on because I desire to be wiser and better every day. Back in the day, they would give me a lot of things to do but now people struggle to come up with things. I will accept any criticism even when it’s harshly said as long as they have a circumstance/example of when I did something bad in that area. Perhaps, this is why I’m one of the most mature 18 year-old people on the planet. People just aren’t like this anymore it seems like because they are too stubborn or they don’t believe their imperfect human nature can change.

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    • Do people struggle to come up with things, or are they uncomfortable sharing the hard things?

      “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.” -Proverbs 11:2

      “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.” -Romans 12:3

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