I think I need to break up with Bryan. But I’m not sure. I’ve never been the one to end a relationship before, and, come to think of it, I’m not even sure we need to have a break up conversation since he never agreed to be my boyfriend anyway. We’ve just been dating for five months. Mostly exclusively. Without the labels of exclusivity or boyfriend/girlfriend.
I see so much potential in him – he’s a smart man (member of Mensa), a godly man (has led multiple mission trips to Thailand), a wealthy man (getting ready to retire this summer at age 36) and an adventurous man (has traveled the world) who is always seeking to have new experiences. Life with Bryan is exciting and thrilling. He challenges and stimulates me intellectually in ways that no other man does. But he can’t penetrate my heart or emotions. Well, maybe he could. He doesn’t really try. At least, not in ways that are visible to me.
I’m an external processor. I need to write out my conflicting thoughts and emotions. I need to share them to process them and admit they are real. If you reply, please be kind. I am vulnerable right now.