Tired.

Have you ever felt like you are in an endless season of change; that every part of your life is in continual flux? Have you ever felt completely devoid of stability with no steady ground in sight?

That has been my reality for the past year. I had hoped that 2015 would provide more stability than 2014, but that just hasn’t been the case.

In January, I was in a car wreck and spent six weeks trying to get my car repaired and work out payment from insurance.

In February, I bought a new car and started a new job with a new team in a new office across town. I’m still getting used to the extra hour added to my commute.

In March, I joined a new church, turned another year older, and spent half the month living out of a suitcase.

In April, I ended a six-month relationship and was offered a contract to pursue a career in acting.

In May, the emotional upheaval continued when I ran into my ex-fiance for the first time since the week of our wedding; then went on dates with 20973143.5 new suitors, while continuing to receive weekly calls from Bryan.

In June, I will be moving to a new apartment across town and spending another two weeks living out of a suitcase.

tired puppyMaybe that doesn’t sound like a lot. No one is dying, and I have a great support system. But it feels like a lot. Don’t get me wrong; I have a great life. Some of these changes were wonderful blessings, and change can be a great thing. But I am so ready for life to settle down. I know I’m in my twenties and should be young and full of exuberance, but I am TIRED. In every way – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually – I am worn out.

I am no longer coaching math or teaching Sunday school – I recently stepped down from those roles – and my graphic design classes end in two weeks, so I should have a lot more free time to recharge soon. I have a family reunion later in May and a trip to London planned in June, but once July hits, I’m hoping that I will finally be able to REST.

I can’t give what I don’t have, and if I don’t take the time to recharge, I won’t have any emotional energy to give to my friends and family, the kids I serve, the boss I respect, or the man I love… assuming he enters the picture at some point. So I’m going to rest.

That’s the plan anyway.

Authentically Aurora

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5 thoughts on “Tired.

  1. I feel like my life should have slowed down a long time ago. Also,there are a lot of revelations here. A contract to be an actor? You got a new job? Joined a new church? Moving across town? I’m tired just from hearing how hectic your life is. I hope you get the rest you need soon. You know us introverts…

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    • I imagine having kids does NOT help one’s life slow down at all. This season of singleness may be my last chance to recharge. Ever.

      Yes, I’m planning to post soon about my audition process and the revelations therein… As for the new job, I’m still working for the same major oil company but in a new role at a new location, and I recently found a church with more fellowship than my prior church.

      My life is hectic… but it is also good. Practicing the discipline of gratefulness here.

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  2. Good luck with what you have balanced in your life. As an early twenty-something, I feel the same bit of hectic change as you have. I haven’t had as many on your list, but while I started on one career path and knew where my life was heading a couple weeks ago, a new once-in-a-lifetime opportunity knocked on my door and am currently in the process of doing a full 180 degree turn. New job, new department, new location, vacation time cut in half with this news coming to me, but at the same time, I am practice the art of being grateful as the change is indeed a blessing; it’s just difficult sometimes to be hit with so much at once and practically moving forward while still mentally processing what is happening. Best of luck!

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