Sometimes words don’t come out right. And sometimes that’s awful and heart-wrenching. But sometimes it’s hilarious.
Meet 23-year-old Evan, a recent college grad who just moved to town. For the first time in four years, Evan finds himself outside the bubble of all-night parties and PC gaming and, as a result, his communication skills are a bit rusty. At lunch last week, Evan discovered that communication outside of texts, tweets and status updates can be challenging. Yes, Evan, this whole face-to-face human interaction thing can be difficult.
Girl 1: “So, Evan, do you have a girlfriend?”
Evan: “Not for long.”
[Awkward silence. Everyone looks around the table.]
Girl 2 [timidly]: “So… you’re planning to break up with her?”
Evan: “Oh. No, I meant that we haven’t been dating for very long.”
Girl 1: “Oh!” [laughs with relief] “Does she live in town?”
Evan: “No, she’s still in school. She’s at Fish Camp right now.”
Boy 1: “Ooh, so you’re into younger women! Going for a college freshman, eh? Nice!”
Evan: “No, she’s not a freshman. She’s 16.”
[Awkward silence. Everyone doing mental math.]
Boy 2: “Wow… uh, yeah… you do go for the younger women…”
Evan [waving his friends frantically]: “No, no, no… I mean, she’s class of ’16 — 2016! She’s one of the camp counselors at Fish Camp!”
[Sighs of relief around the table.]
For any future updates about his relationship, Evan will be utilizing Instagram, which enables him to communicate entirely using pictures and not words.
Evan, I have a lot in common with you. Not so much the creepy, way underaged stalking that you do, but words. They are really hard. I try not to say them, because slkdfjlaskdf.
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Actually laughed out loud. The Baby Millennials make us older Millennials look bad more often than I’d like. I hang my head in shame when I walk by their desks at work and they’re texting or F-booking or doing various other activities the company shouldn’t be paying them for. “You’re at work!” I want to yell. “Act like it!”
Agreed. Sometimes I wonder if we shouldn’t break out the Millennials into a more granular set of groups. When I read some of the articles about Millennials out there, I cringe and want to scream, “That’s not me! Don’t lump me in with them!!!”
My desire for disambiguation from the Baby Millennials may stem from a combination of my being an older Millennial (child of the 80s) and the fact that I’ve always been an old soul and never fit in with my peers. I get the sense you may be the same way.
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Old soul, child of the 80s, doesn’t fit the mold… Yep, that’s me too!
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