Animagus Aurora

From time to time, I have meltdowns based on my fear of becoming a cat lady.

Then I remember that I don’t have any cats.
And I feel better.

But then I am reminded of my rapidly approaching thirtieth birthday, coupled with my perpetual single status, and the panic starts again.

Then I get asked out by three different guys, three days in a row.
And I am comforted that there is hope for me yet.

Until I watch cat videos and realize that, although I may not own any cats, my cat-like mannerisms have already transformed me into a McGonagall-like cat lady. I know, I know. Where I went wrong was watching cat videos in the first place. But what’s done is done, and I am horrified to realize that those cat videos have infiltrated my psyche. I have become Animagus Aurora, the cat-less cat lady.

1mcgonagall

When I peruse the online dating profiles of my inevitably terrible matches, this is a remarkable likeness to my reaction:

Online-dating

And when those terrible matches want to take me on a date, sometimes I have to resort to playing dead:

No-date-1

No-date-2And on first dates, when guys try to get too friendly too soon, they may get some of this action:

No-Petting

But I can be all-too-easily won over with chocolate:

Chocolate-Cat

And once a man earns my trust (with said chocolate), I melt into a snuggly cuddle monster. “Pet me!”

Pet-me-loop-1

Pet-me-loop-2

The secret is out. There is no fighting it. My cat lady status is official, even sans cat ownership. In light of these evidentiary videos, I regret to inform you, dear readers, that I have clearly become…

Animagus Aurora, the cat-less cat lady

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20 thoughts on “Animagus Aurora

  1. Long time no see pretty girl. N again thanks for your wonderful reply last time !! 😉

    Anyways. … what’s this about u freaking out about becoming ‘ The Cat Lady ‘ !!!??? Super power ..” Pets faster then a Speeding Bullet “!! … ” Slower at answering The Door …Than ‘ The Fallen n Can’t Get Up Granny ” …. NONSENSE! !!!! I’d give anything to have u close to me !! I’d show u how to live ..n I don’t mean in that way ! 😉 Tho if I wasn’t HAPPILY MARRIED TO THE GREATEST WOMEN IN THE WORLD !! …then maybe the old me ! … lol 😉

    Wake up every morning n say ..” I’m young ..vibrant ..INTELLIGENT !!… what could I do today. .that I’ve NEVER done before !??” ..
    N u can start off small. ..like ” walk over to a stranger n start up a real conversation ” ..as a example … n go up from there! N soon u will find yourself having a joyful , happy heart , fun ,exciting day !!! I promise !! Take chances. .. do things spontaneous !! N before u know it …I’ll be seeing more HAPPIER things from u ..n not this dull ..’ Cat Lady ‘ Crap !!! 🙂
    Now ..for why I wish u were closer ….
    If u want …every guy that wants to go out with u ..has to be ‘ Interviewed ‘ by me …. n if I give them the ‘ O.K ‘ …then ..n only then …do they get a chance to go farther! 🙂

    NOW ..ENOUGH TALK like this !! Splash some cold water in ur face ..take my advice … n let me know how it goes ! 🙂 🙂

    Take care hun,
    Dan

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    • I found you a little poem ..that may sum up what I’m saying. ..

      Don’t cry over the past ,
      It’s gone
      Don’t stress About the future ,
      It hasn’t arrived
      LIVE in the present moment,
      And MAKE IT BEAUTIFUL. ..

      Wishing you the very best ,
      Dan

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      • Hi Dan, Thanks for the kind words of encouragement. I’m actually doing well and was just hoping to give my readers a laugh with this post! You’re right; it’s a beautiful day. I’m going to go live in it…

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        • good ! 😊 n if it helps ..I didn’t find ” THE ONE ” Till my 30’s !! N I traveled the world !! 😉 so don’t worry. ..”He’s ” just around the corner ! N if u want ..I have a couple single Ex Navy buds that I could hook u up with. 😉😉😀 lol. Sorry I been away. Between my business n working for a disaster relief company I’ve been away a while. I hope your doing good. I’ve just had surgery so I’m laid up for a while ..lol.
          Missed ya !! 😀😚😀😀😎😎
          Dan

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  2. I hear you about the 30 thing. As long as I could remember 30 was some mountain in the far distance you would look forward to, and is when you would already be married, have the perfect job, house, and drink your morning tea out on the porch. Now all of a sudden 30 is like a block away, time to start moving furniture in, with no husband, or perfect job, and no quiet tea drinking on the porch while reading the paper…lol You’re not alone we all feel and think the exact same way, online dating is rough I don’t even bother. Don’t worry i’m not gonna let you become a crazy cat lady lol

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Je Suis Une Vache | Authentically Aurora

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