To The Leasing Manager:
These boxes have been sitting outside of Stairwell B for two weeks now. Could you please have them removed?
Additionally, you may want to advise Darren Jones in Unit 76 how to properly dispose of his boxes and advise him that, should he wish to remain unidentified, he may want to remove his address labels from any abandoned boxes in the future.
Many Thanks,
Authentically Aurora
Authentically Aurora 
Also, if he wants his picture off a very famous, funny, witty, bitterly well written blog too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bwahahahaha yes! I do not understand where all of these boxes are coming from. Darren has lived in this complex for months, so I know these aren’t moving boxes.
Did he just come into a lot of money? Is he going on online shopping sprees? Did Amazon have a cyber Monday in September as a response to all of the Christmas decorations already lining store shelves? Does he have a new girlfriend who is obsessed with kale and Mr. Coffee?
(…seriously, who buys an entire crate of kale? In fact, who buys kale at all?!?!)
LikeLike
Kale is so bad even bird’s or rabbits wouldn’t eat it and they are the ones that are supposed to like that crap.
Well, there may be a positive side to all this. We may be able to check Darren off as a potential suitor. But we don’t look at the positive side. Looks like Darren is going to be asking you out soon! Now you have to find a way to get rid of him and his boxes!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nope, we don’t look at the positive side. Let me know if you have any ideas for getting rid of him and his boxes. Like not showering for three days (check). Or having peanut butter breath (check). Or being a really bitter, cat-less cat lady (check).
LikeLike
Those are all good things, but I think you need to go the opposite direction. Start talking about your undying devotion to him. Talk about wanting to meet his parents. Talk about your future together. Tell him how you want to spend every stalking, uh moment with him. He will run for the hills and bring his boxes with him.
LikeLike
that’s a lot of trash for one person
LikeLiked by 1 person
Seriously. I thought it must be a new neighbor who just moved in… until I saw the address label. Darren ran into me (literally) on his bike in the hallway back in June. He has lived at my complex for months! Where are all of these boxes coming from?!
LikeLiked by 1 person