Today in the hallways of the office, I ran into my awesome friend Jason, who reminds me of a younger version of Bitter Ben – introverted, quick-witted, adorably awkward and absolutely hilarious (seriously, Ben, do you have a nephew named Jason? Because I swear you two are related…).
Anyway, Jason asked me how my day was going, and I showed him the stack of papers in my hand – my freshly scanned application to get certified for babysitting foster kids.
“Oh wow. You’re such a rock star,” Jason told me, clapping me on the arm. “Although you know you could come watch my kids anytime – no certification required!”
I laughed. Jason has two little boys – ages 6 and 3 – and from what I hear, they are a handful. “Ha. About six months ago, I tried to volunteer to be a Girl Scout Troop Leader, but nobody ever got back to me. So now the foster kids get me instead.” I winked at him with a grin.
“Oh, come on. You know the only reason you were doing Girl Scouts was for the free cookies.”
“Actually, it was specifically for the Thin Mints,” I joked back. “Although we probably need to get them to change the name. False advertising,” I went on as a bubbly blonde walked past us in the hallway, pausing to say hello.
“Hey,” I greeted her in return. “Jason and I were just talking about how the Girl Scouts need to change the name of their Thin Mint cookies to ‘Fat Mints’. One time I tried going on a diet of nothing but Thin Mints, but somehow, I didn’t get any thinner.”
While Jason chuckled, the blonde looked at me with a mixture of disdain and confusion. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s a thing…” she said as she walked away, size 2 hips swaying down the hallway.
This is why socially awkward people like Jason and I have to stick together. Socially adept, celery-stick-eating people don’t get our cool puns or weighty jokes.
I love Girl Scout Thin Mints, and I never thought about the name before. But the importance of having socially awkward friends who get our jokes is priceless. J.
Yes, friends who are fluent in sarcasm are vital!
It’s funny that you mention it, I actually do have a nephew named Jason. And yeah, he is quick witted, and pretty funny.
That’s what you get for trying to involve another human being that doesn’t speak sarcasm. Perhaps I could translate your sarcasm to regular peoplespeak?
I mean, now that you’re a fancy corporate writer, I guess I should be coming to you for all of my sarcasm translations. Not sure I can afford you, though. Do you take pizza as a form of currency?
Don’t worry about paying from you pocket, I will bill your company. They are going to need all the oil money to afford me.
And yes, I also take pizza and Fat mints for currency.
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