You never know who may be looking at how you live your life.
When I was a little girl, my best friend Sara lived in the cul-de-sac across from ours. Sara was a bossy, unkind girl, and she inherited her temperament from her high-strung mother. While I was busy learning a lot about patience and sharing during my friendship with Sara, Sara’s mom was evidently learning a lot from observing my mom.
A few years ago, decades after Sara and her family moved away to another city, Sara’s mother called my mom to let her know she had become a Christian. “So many of the other PTA moms tried to shove religion down my throat, but you quietly displayed the love of Jesus to me day in and day out. You are the reason I sought out God and eventually became a Christian. Thank you.” Until that point, my mom never knew the impact she’d had on Sara’s family. She was just loving Jesus and letting the love overflow. So often, that is all that is asked of us; that is all that is needed.
When I was in college, I was in a swing dancing society. A tall Chinese boy named Yun was a frequent dance partner of mine, but we didn’t talk much during our dances (because we were so out of breath from the fast tempo songs!). Yun and I both moved to the same city after college, and I see him from time to time when I visit the swing dancing group here. We are amiable, but I would call him more of an acquaintance than a friend.
Despite our perceived distance from my perspective, two weeks ago, I received an unexpected Facebook message from Yun. It was only one sentence, with no introduction or explanation. “What are the minimum requirements, in your mind, to be a Christian?”
I was completely taken aback but also really glad he felt comfortable reaching out to me with his question. I wrote back that I could answer over Facebook messenger, but I suggested we go out for coffee instead. Yun agreed.
We met a few days later, and Yun gave me the background for his question. He grew up in an atheist family in China, but after his father’s death several years ago and his grandmother’s latest bout of cancer, his mother encouraged Yun to settle down with a nice Christian girl. Yun’s mother is still an atheist living in China, but she thinks American Christian girls make good wives. She told Yun they will be kind, loving and faithful wives because they believe they are accountable to a Higher Power.
Yun has tried dating some nice, Christian girls, but he told me with frustration that none of them will date him unless he becomes a Christian, too. “I know that’s an ulterior motive… will God be mad at me if I become a Christian with impure motives? It’s hard being an atheist bachelor in the Bible Belt of America.”
I smiled thoughtfully at Yun. I appreciated his authenticity. “I think all of us have impure motives at some time, but God’s greatest desire is for you to know Him, so if He uses your desire to be married as a way to draw you to Himself, so be it. I think the fact that you’re asking if God would be bothered by it says a lot. I believe our desire to please God does in fact please Him.”
So Yun pulled out his iPad, where he’d developed a list of questions to ask me. Is baptism necessary for salvation? Do I have to be “good enough” to be a Christian? Why did Jesus have to die? Do I have to believe that Jesus was the Son of God? What if I want to believe but I can’t seem to muster up the faith in myself? Do you believe creation was literally seven days, or is that figurative? What do you think about the Big Bang Theory? Why is there suffering in this world if God is good, loving and all-powerful? Is going to church necessary?
The questions went on and on, and for hours I answered them as best I could, giving Yun passages of the Bible to read on his own so that he could search the Scriptures for himself. We talked a lot about Romans 6 and why someone who truly believes in Jesus’ deity, death and resurrection will live differently than before they believed.
In the end, Yun decided he wasn’t quite ready to accept Jesus’ sacrifice on his behalf yet, but he told me, “I want to believe. I want to become a Christian. I just need to think about it some more first. It’s not a decision I take lightly.”
I’m thankful Yun appreciates the weight of his decision. And I made sure he knows he can come back to me any time with more thoughts or inquiries. It was refreshing to talk about the hard questions of faith with someone who was genuinely seeking answers and not just looking for an argument.
Please pray for Yun, and if you are someone who is curious about my answers to any of the questions Yun raised, please feel free to comment or send me a private message!
Authentically Aurora
Wow that’s amazing! I love those questions. I remember when I first became a Christian I had so many questions. I still have heaps. Love that you got to chat with him and journey with him.
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Thanks, Juni! It was a really wonderful afternoon and a special memory for me. So glad you had someone to ask your own questions! ❤
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“Please pray for Yun” – Sorry, as an atheist, I can’t do that. Doubtless Yun’s mother had his best interests at heart, but she gave him faulty advice. Yun is much better off seeking a girl with whom he has things in common, whom he loves and who loves him and wants to make a life together, than to concentrate on a particular category of women, based on the false belief that one kind of woman makes a better wife than another. The rate of divorce among Christians is just as high as it is among atheists.
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The request for prayers was not directed at you. 😉
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I assumed it was a general request – much like a blown kiss, available to anyone who can catch it —
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It was more an invitation to whoever WILL catch it, ha.
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Once again, an example of people just feel that Spirit inside you and knowing that you will answer questions in a way that will help them know for themselves and not trying to be pushy or over the top about it. By the way, have you noticed since your dating hiatus that your blog has shifted from a dating experience site to a life experience site?
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I have noticed that! I’m trying not to be too over-the-top spiritual in my posts (want to be able to reach all types of readers), but when I’m not writing about dating, well… faith is what comes out instead. Inside scoop for my favorite reader: There will probably be dating posts again soon. Not sure how you feel about that. Bitter perhaps? 😀
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Not bitter about you ever, A. I would be delighted if you did some dating stories. My greatest hope for you is that a wonderful man steps up and finally finds you! But he better be pretty exceptional though!
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Have you considered http://www.freethinkermatch.com –?
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I have not considered any online dating sites for a very long time. I had my season with them and, while entertaining, it’s not something I hope to revisit!
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You’re the best, not-so-bitter Ben. You’re like Barnabas. You are my Barna-Ben!
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I guess I could be Barnabitter too!
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My prayers are with you and Yun. how great that he knew the right questions to ask and the right person to ask. May the seeds you were invited to plant sprout and grow into a living faith in Jesus Christ. J.
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Thanks, J! So thankful for your readership, comments and – most of all – prayers! Happy Monday 🙂
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