Every week of The Bachelor provides an opportunity to laugh uproariously at the foolish antics of women who seemingly forget their every move is being recorded for the entertainment of the masses. And this week, the majority of viewers likely continued in this vein, eating up the drama-filled standoff between Kelsey and Ashley I on their two-on-one date. But this week hit me differently. These girls are starting to genuinely invest in their feelings for Chris, and we are now seeing more vulnerability than ever before.
This week on the group date, all of the girls were tasked with writing their own love songs for Chris, which they then had to perform in front of the other girls. As someone blessed with not only a lovely voice but also a natural inclination for writing music and lyrics, this is something I would actually enjoy… minus having to perform my very personal, very intimate love song in front of my man’s other prospects.
For me, writing song lyrics is always an exercise in vulnerability. It’s how I pour out the most intense of my emotions. To publicly share words meant for the man I adore would be embarrassing regardless of his reaction, and to be rejected would make it doubly humiliating.
So when Chris wordlessly stole Britt away for some one-on-one time that turned into over an hour alone at a Big & Rich concert, he acted thoughtlessly. He left the other girls on the group date wondering where he went, and when they found out – after singing their hearts out in personal love songs to him – they all felt foolish, stupid, humiliated and rejected.
Jade admitted, in her usual shy way, “It’s hard to write a love song about somebody when he’s clearly into somebody else.”
The typically confident Whitney expressed, “You compare yourself to someone who’s so beautiful – I mean, she’s gorgeous – and it makes you feel insecure.”
Even Kaitlyn, who is usually so brash and brazen, had tears rolling down her cheeks. I have never been a fan of Kaitlyn, but this week, my heart went out to her because I saw beyond her tough exterior. “It’s humiliating to put yourself out there. His connection with her is so obvious to everyone.”
Sweet Carly is a professional singer and performer on a cruise liner, so she was in her element on this date. Kaitlyn said of Carly, “They had a really intimate moment. I was almost in love for them.”
But even Carly got teary when Britt took off alone with Chris. “She’s going to come back with no lipstick on her mouth… Hey Carly, be invisible again.”
One of my dear friends gave me a book weeks ago called Wilderness Skills for Women. It’s all about journeying through the emotional wilderness of singleness, loneliness and rejection. The author, Marian Jordan, writes about The Bachelor,
“Each week’s episode of The Bachelor ends with a gaggle of girls shedding tearful good-byes. Some are tears… of pain. The real pain of rejection. The coffee shop psychologist in me is always amazed at the reactions of the women on the show. It is fascinating to watch. Most of these girls have spent less than four hours total with the guy, but it never seems to matter. If she doesn’t get the rose, she is totally crushed. And it doesn’t really matter who the guy is… every girl wants to be picked. Not one single woman stands in the rose ceremony wishing that her name won’t be called. As women, we want to be singled out, chosen, and yes, offered the rose.”
So this week, sweet girls, I won’t make fun of you. Because I see you as you are – wounded, hurting, lonely women just like so many of the rest of us, longing to be singled out and chosen; longing to be told that we are worthy, desirable and loved.
For anyone reading this who feels unworthy, undesirable or unloved, be encouraged. Because there is Someone who is head over heels in love with you; Someone who is passionate about you and zealous for you; Someone who is pursuing you and wooing you to Himself. The God of the Universe loves you unconditionally, just as you are. You are precious, and He deemed you worth dying for.