Jimmy Kimmel, thank you for defacing yourself by guest starring on “The Bachelor” this week. Although you may forever suffer from lower self respect for appearing on such a deplorable show, the rest of us benefited tremendously from your sacrifice.
Frankly, I’m amazed the ABC Network was capable of such self-deprecating humor. But I liked it. Jimmy’s jabs made this week’s episode elicit far more amusement and less disgust than usual. Go Jimmy Kimmel.
From the start, Jimmy set the tone of his stay with the women. When he first entered the
concubines’ bachelorettes’ mansion, his welcoming exclamation was, “Hey, Sister Wives!!!”, referencing of course the polygamous nature of these fifteen women all living together and sucking face with the same man.
Somehow Jimmy managed to get all of the girls to laugh at this dig. Were they stunned by his glorious appearance? Have they accepted the unholy nature of their romantic entanglements? Did their consumption of large quantities of alcohol finally kill off enough brain cells to keep them from catching the slam? We may never know.
Next, Jimmy crashed Bachelor Chris’s one-on-one date with Kaitlyn. Chris gazed affectionately at Kaitlyn (although I’m not sure how, what with that off-color seal joke) and bragged to Jimmy that Kaitlyn is a great catch because she likes to eat steak, drink whiskey, and her throaty laugh is lower than his. Jimmy’s response? “It’s like marrying another guy.”
…to which the moronic Bachelor Chris replied, “And I’m okay with that.”
Was anyone else bothered by that exchange? Not only did Chris embrace the verbal knock at his own masculinity, but – more importantly – he failed to defend the femininity of his date. Oh wait. There’s no femininity to defend. Okay, free pass, Bachelor Chris. Moving on.
Throughout the episode, Jimmy made several other adorable remarks, like, “I specialize in making people uncomfortable.” That may have to be my new personal slogan.
In the end, right before Bachelor Chris went out to the women for the Rose Ceremony, Jimmy gave him one final pep talk: “Whatever you do, don’t be yourself. Be someone who gives better speeches.”