The Kind Men of Mankind

Hey Girl - Boyfriend MaterialI owe Moe an apology.

I wrote and told him that I had joined MeetUp to find groups of people with common interests (not to find a date), and I explained that I was uncomfortable meeting one-on-one with a complete stranger. Instead of responding in anger like most guys in my past experience, Moe replied in a kind, respectful fashion:

Screen Shot 2014-09-20 at 12.41.29 PM

I know that a lot of my posts have sarcastic, cutting humor at the expense of the men I meet, and that’s probably due to the season of life that I’m in, but that’s no excuse for poking fun at genuinely good guys who happen to catch me at a time where I generally despise all of mankind… emphasis on “man”. But the kind men of mankind deserve my respect, admiration, and kindness in turn.

I don’t think it’s true what they say – that nice guys finish last. Admittedly, good guys like John and Moe have failed to win my affection, but correlation does not guarantee causation. In other words, their “nice guy”-ness was not the reason that I wasn’t interested. If I could be physically attracted to Moe or emotionally connected to John, I would happily consider dating them. They seem like good men who truly want to love a woman well. But chemistry and attraction are not things that I can control, and I am too much of a romantic to imagine marrying someone I don’t love and respect

Truth be told, there have been few men in the history of my existence – nice guys or not – to whom I have been physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally attracted. Are my expectations too high? I would rather be single than settle. I am not under the illusion that anyone is perfect or even perfect for me; I acknowledge that marriage is the union of two sinful people who are trying to cohabitate in a broken world. But I have to hold out hope that God has uniquely created someone with whom I will share mutual respect, admiration and love. And, to be clear, I genuinely hope that he is one of the “nice guys” – one of the kind men of mankind – because those are the men who know what it means to truly cherish the woman they love.

Authentically Aurora

CyberStalk Inc.

Online Dating

When I cancelled my online dating subscription last week, I was trying to get away from the drama and soul-crushing disappointment in humanity that I experienced as a result of subjecting myself to love algorithms.

My friend Farah suggested that I try MeetUp instead. It’s an online networking tool that connects users with local interest groups – no matching; no messaging; no awkward dates. It’s just a gathering of soon-to-be-friends who share hobbies and live in the same city. So Farah and I signed up together and have planned to attend our first joint social gathering next week. I figured, if nothing else, it would make for a great blog post. Little did I know that MeetUp is secretly yet another dating site.

Take Grant, for instance. He is reminiscent of online dating’s very own Spring Butt.

Grant1

Yeah, I guessed that from the blue text beside your photo that says “Grant”. 

Grant2

First of all, why are you continuing this conversation? Secondly, this sounds like my attempt at German in high school. “Hallo! Ich heisse Aurora. Ich have braune haare. Ich mochte volleyball spielen.”

Grant3

Do I know you? And if not, why are you sending me enthusiastic messages without any encouragement from me whatsoever?

Grant5b

“I’m awful at it.” Way to sell yourself there, buddy.

I finally messaged the poor guy back to let him know that I was going to be out of town (for my oh-so-memorable weekend in Boston), and – as expected – Grant was very prompt in checking in on Monday morning:

Grant7

*Sigh. Please, Grant. Develop some self respect.

Also, this just in from Moe:

Moe2

Moe pic

And John:

John2

Hey, John! Oh, I don’t know… being messaged on MeetUp by a complete stranger with no profile description and an image of a Jeep for his profile picture. That’s not creepy or suspicious at all!

At least Moe had a real photo of himself, frightening though it may be.