Telephone Pictionary

If it’s been too long since you’ve laughed so hard you cried, it might be time for a round of Telephone Pictionary.

For the uninitiated, Telephone Pictionary is a game with no objective (which I usually hate), no winners (or everyone is a winner – lame) and very flexible rules (something that normally results in eye twitching for me). But it’s a pretty fantastic game with the right group of people. And this weekend, we had the RIGHT GROUP OF PEOPLE!

To celebrate my birthday, all of my closest girl friends got together for dinner and game night. Jo Ann was sweet enough to host at her house, and instead of baking me a cake, she baked cupcakes and sugar cookies for us to decorate, catering to my artistic nature (so sweet)!

Melanie, Bethany and Ashley were all there, too, along with several other friends from various parts of my life. It’s always interesting when different circles collide. In this instance, the results were absolutely hilarious.

Telephone Pictionary Rules: Essentially, everyone starts with a stack of paper and a pen. Each person writes a word or phrase on their stop sheet of paper; then the group will simultaneously pass their stack clockwise. The next person reads the word or phrase on the stack of paper, moves the top sheet to the back, and draws a picture that represents the initial word or phrase. The group will continue this pattern, alternating words and pictures, until the stack gets back to the original owner, who will then share (with uproarious laughter) the way the message got derailed as it made its way around the circle.

With friends from work and church, engineers and artists, thirty-something moms and girls in their early twenties, the communication breakdown in nearly every round of Telephone Pictionary made us laugh so hard we cried. Enjoy my personal favorite:

Bonus: During our final round, someone wrote about my upcoming sailing trip with Bryan. This might be the best picture ever:

Hopefully it doesn’t come true. Becoming shark bait isn’t on my bucket list of thirty things to do before I turn thirty. ❤

Authentically Aurora

Bachelor Bash – Week 1

Allow me to preface this post by openly stating that I never had any intention of (or even inclination that I would ever consider) posting about “The Bachelor”.

However, since the roots of this particular blog are Dating and Humor (just have a look at my Tag Cloud to the right), I suppose it makes sense that my blogging could eventually intersect with this ridiculously horrible, sadly laughable fiasco of a show that simultaneously inspires, disgusts and amuses its viewers. Okay, mostly disgusts and amuses.

In any case, my friend Melanie invited me to this season’s session of recurring Girls’ Nights to gather with other women and marvel at the lengths girls will go to find “true love.” As a rather jaded former Disney-princess-at-heart, I have decided to join in the festivities for the purposes of:

1. Engaging in fellowship with my girlfriends
2. Conducting an informal study of female psychology
3. Totally dominating our group’s Bachelor Bracket
4. Gathering easy fodder for hilarious blog posts

In preparation for tonight’s season premiere, I did a bit of research on the contenders and, to my surprise, found that I have already begun to experience that rare combination of emotions elicited only by horrible reality TV shows: simultaneous disgust & amusement. For your viewing pleasure, ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

Jordan: The most outrageous thing she’s ever done is jumping “off the back of a boat bar naked in the British Virgin Islands”, and if she wanted to impress a man, she’d “give him a sexy dance because it would turn him on and hopefully lead to more.”

Oh, Jordan. Please develop some self-respect and realize that you attract the kind of men you cater to. If you want a man to treat you like you’re nothing more than sex on a stick, keep doing what you’re doing, kiddo. You’re on a roll.

Nicole: If she could be a fictional character, she would be Jessica Rabbit because “she is so unapologetically sexy with natural sex appeal”, and if Nicole were an animal, she would be a wolf because they are “magical and bad-ass creatures”.

Okay, when I look at you, Nicole, I’m not getting “sexy” and “bad-ass”. Or, by the way, someone who wants to “jump in the sack”. Are we compensating a bit here?

Nikki: Her occupation is listed as “Former NFL Cheerleader.”

So Nikki, what you’re trying to tell us is… you’re unemployed? Living in the past? Looking for a sugar daddy? Trying to keep the glory days alive as long as possible?

Tara: She can’t live without whiskey, loves it when her date “opens the truck door” (I guess she only dates country boys?), views marriage as merely “legal documentation” of commitment, and her occupation is a “Sport Fishing Enthusiast.”

Can your occupation be “an enthusiast”? I mean, I’m an ice cream enthusiast. Can I get paid for that? Because that sounds sweet. Literally and figuratively.

*Sigh. All right, Bachelor Chris. It’s now Open Season on thirty needy, desperate, insecure bachelorettes. This should be interesting. And by interesting, I of course mean simultaneously disgusting and amusing.

Authentically Aurora

Quote/photo source: http://abc.go.com/shows/the-bachelor 

Look On Up

It’s a good thing I have become resolute in my decision not to date musicians, because last week I was surrounded by them. My friend Jo Ann is the cousin of one of the band members of Relient K, and he hooked us up with backstage passes to watch the show from the wings and hang out with the band before they performed.

I’ve had backstage passes before. This summer, I went behind the scenes at an Eric Paslay concert, got to meet him, and even got my photo with the 6’4″ country artist. I was on the front row that night, singing harmony at the top of my lungs to “Friday Night” and “Less Than Whole“.

But this time with Jo Ann was different. The fact that she knew one of the band members personally – he was literally family – added a whole new layer to the experience. Instead of waiting in line for a five second photo op, we all went out to dinner together a few hours before showtime and shared a bottle of wine. We talked music for sure – his songwriting style and what a day in the life of a touring musician looks like – but we also talked about his love of golf, what his kids wore for Halloween this year and his hopes, dreams and aspirations for the future.

Then we got a tour of the bus. Jo Ann’s cousin is a good guy, so when he used the classic rockstar pick up line, “Want to see the inside of the tour bus?”, he did so with a twinkle in his eye. It was neat to see their living space – bunk beds, TVs and a PS2. It was somehow more chill and down-to-earth than I expected.

All of the band members were really mellow and friendly. The bass guitarist offered me a beer, and the lead singer gathered everyone for a group photo. Even five minutes before they went on stage, all the guys were really relaxed and personable. Kind. Humble. Sweet. They were just regular thirty-something guys hanging out and living life. I felt blessed to get a glimpse into their world.

Before he went on, Jo Ann’s cousin rolled some trunks together on Stage Right for me to sit on with Jo Ann and Melanie, another friend who came along that night. This was our view of the stage:

From our vantage point, I got to see a lot that I never would have from the audience: Matt Thiessen’s wink to his guitar tech as they traded out guitars, an “oops” face when he missed some lyrics, and his drawing of an upward arch over his mouth with his index finger, reminding the guys to smile. I also got to see two different stage dives from the perspective of the stage, and all I can say is: Wow, those guys are fearless!

Jo Ann sang along to nearly every song, and Melanie and I were constantly grinning from ear to ear. Our cheeks hurt from smiling by the end of the evening. It was a blast. The Relient K guys are talented performers and absolutely great guys, just as fun and charming off stage as they are on stage.

They sang two of my favorites from my high school days: “Be My Escape” and “Sadie Hawkins Dance“. But their second-to-last song was my favorite. It’s a new one that they haven’t even recorded yet, but it was simply stunning both musically and lyrically. Here are the first lines:

“I remember when a photograph was worth a thousand words.

Now a thousand pictures come my way every day.

And I like them all the same but they can’t take my breath away… Look on up.”

Authentically Aurora