Meet 23-year-old Evan, a recent college grad who just moved to town. For the first time in four years, Evan finds himself outside the bubble of all-night parties and PC gaming and, as a result, his communication skills are a bit rusty. At lunch last week, Evan discovered that communication outside of texts, tweets and status updates can be challenging. Yes, Evan, this whole face-to-face human interaction thing can be difficult.
Girl 1: “So, Evan, do you have a girlfriend?”
Evan: “Not for long.”
[Awkward silence. Everyone looks around the table.]
Girl 2 [timidly]: “So… you’re planning to break up with her?”
Evan: “Oh. No, I meant that we haven’t been dating for very long.”
Girl 1: “Oh!” [laughs with relief] “Does she live in town?”
Evan: “No, she’s still in school. She’s at Fish Camp right now.”
Boy 1: “Ooh, so you’re into younger women! Going for a college freshman, eh? Nice!”
Evan: “No, she’s not a freshman. She’s 16.”
[Awkward silence. Everyone doing mental math.]
Boy 2: “Wow… uh, yeah… you do go for the younger women…”
Evan [waving his friends frantically]: “No, no, no… I mean, she’s class of ’16 — 2016! She’s one of the camp counselors at Fish Camp!”
[Sighs of relief around the table.]
For any future updates about his relationship, Evan will be utilizing Instagram, which enables him to communicate entirely using pictures and not words.